Thursday, March 04, 2004

A Prayer For Music

Here's a poem I performed earlier this year. People liked it, so why not blog it?

A Prayer for Music

There was a strange feeling I had recently.
As I sat, copasetic, in the wings
I knew that nothing I can say or do could top the passion.
The beauty and lightness and flow and grace
And all of a sudden, my time had come to step forward and take my place.

I stood at the microphone and planted my feet and I reached,
Deep down, directly passed the crass wasteland in my physical and down deeper,
Deeper and deeper into the soul I creep, I find my spirit and I bring it out to my throat as the trumpet blares from behind me.

I didn’t know his face although I raced through my head to find a prayer
A poem to enlighten this lightning on the stage
A peace to bring to us all but I was caught unawares and my time had come to play.

I cracked and I creaked and my voice squeaked like a pre-pubescent adolescent male,
Health class poster boy.
My voice was weak and my vocal chords betrayed my heart and my soul
But suddenly a power was stolen from the air and it dug inside of me and I ran with it.

I ran and I ran and I ran and I began to descant and the choirs of angels stood beside me and lifted my voice to echo with the power of the trumpets at Jericho.
I sounded the coming of glory to all. And the passion and the love that a brother can feel for a brother, a sister, a mother, a father, is farther than the highest note on a page and brighter than the brightest light on the stage, it’s the rage that is colder than ice as it lights our fires ablaze with courageous words to feed on.

As the crescendo hit me like a wave of fire and brimstone
I grinned as I watched the apocalyptical trumpets sound and pound on me, on us all.
I rose as the bows and the strings seemed to ring out as I sing out with all the spirit I had,
And the guitar notes they just wrote were direct quotes from the mandate of heaven itself and the mandate that music is power and that music is goodness in the world.
Stop the suffering, my brothers and my sisters, and begin to unite in one perfect song, the song that rings out from the centers of schools out to the courtyards of churches to the altars of temples to the dank disarray of political dungeons to the bright burning grasslands of Africa. From the roots of the trees to the salts of the seas where this song can pass miraculously on the gases in the air and enlighten through despair, hatred, apathy, lack of care and this song will tear through whatever bonds may hold us, whatever chains may keep us down. This song will rise with infinitesimal decibels too irrepressible to not pay special attention to.
This song will be glory in its fullest form.

Look at me now! I say to you all, look at me now and where I stand and how my hand might quiver at the slightest touch but not so much as a tear will fall on my face and disgrace my favor to the crowds.
I say to those that weep to keep on crying until the floods are done and we can all be one people one more time. I say to those that have cheated me, forgiveness is a blessing and one that I have ignored for more time than I care to discuss. Plus, I say more to those that hate me and mock me and continually try to shock me with their muttered saying as I pass you by, let it go.

Why must we all hate and judge and discriminate and begrudge ourselves against ourselves, our brothers and sisters and, Mother, tell me
Why does this all seem to pile on my shoulders every time I speak and choke up my throat and make me weaker than I could ever be in my wildest dreams?
And why, mother, why am I forced to bear the burden of shame and guilt for things I’ve unjustifiably felt in my life, but I must feel the pain of generations before me who abhor me and the remnants of failed exterminations continue to lay waste to my name?
I am stabbed, mother; stabbed in the back by the ones I love who I believed love me who think nothing of me but as a stepping stone on which to wipe their feet on the climb to the summit.

And doesn’t it seem ironic that all this pain it never replaces itself but builds and builds and builds and burns in deeper, it brands me and it hands me over to the darkness I wish never to see but I can see it so clearly sometimes that this dark void, it blinds me and my senses are engulfed in the pulpy murky black that attacks me and continues to harass me and harass me even as I sat, me, copasetic, in the wings thinking things I never wished to think before and how horrible goodness can be, how horrid peace can be, how belligerent a life can be made to seem when twisted and soiled by the selfsame dreams that brought us into being.

And, being a selfish creature that I am, I reach for the apple from the tree and I sit and wait all too patiently for enlightenment to come up and hit me.
It does.

As I felt the rush of music pour on top of me, I looked out into the crowd.
I saw not faces and people but eyes and minds all together in one enormous, ever-morphing vessel of light and love and glory and the darkness subsided as the cymbals collided and the song burned into my vocal chords. That was the feeling I explored.

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