In light of recent epiphanies...
I'm gonna start this post with something that shocked me and I've been meaning to write about for a while now.
So, my junior year, I was really depressed from all the chaos that was my stupid love life with C_______. At some point, I ended up in front of the Safeway off of Shady Grove Road. I can still distinctly remember sitting on a bench out front as I waited for my mother to finish buying whatever the hell it was she needed at that point. Anyway, as I was waiting I heard this song that changed my young life in irreversible ways. It went a something like this:
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
Wow. Shitty Hoobastank song "The Reason" changed my life, and I felt connected to the song in a really metaphysical, far out kind of way. I remember pulling a pen out of my pocket and scribbling the words onto the back of my hand and relishing in the excitement of discovering a new musical mantra that served to both put the blame on the narrator--is that untalented dickhead really to be considered a narrator? Whatever he's the 1st person of the song--and apologize for being imperfect. Dumb, right?
The story continues:
I went back to said Safeway with said mother the other day during Spring Break. So, this is 2 years later. And as I walked out of that Godforsaken Safeway, you could bet your fine-looking tush that "The Reason" was blasting. And, believe it or not, "The Reason", stripped of all meaning and metaphorical implications, is just a downright shitty song by a band whose name reminds me that I need to tend to my diarrhetics.
Returning to the point, I found that the song not only held no meaning for me, but that perhaps these epiphanies we find really should be contextualized. That, no, it was not fate to hear "The Reason" at Shady Grove Plaza. It was just a shitty, soft rock song that helps to lull shopping parents into a haze of purchasing mania. If I had been sitting in Safeway that day Junior Year and had heard some Tahiti 80 bullshit that they play at Abercrombie, I would have ended it all right there--balls to the wall killed myself. Maybe. Probably not.
But then I think, maybe epiphanies travel in pairs, like Hydrogen molecules (Mogo tells me they're diatomic). Maybe I needed to hear that song during Junior Year, and I needed to return my Freshman Year to hear how ridiculous it had been. To not make the same mistakes with similar girls who don't give a shit about me. To not get intimidated while alone with a girl only to freak out and run away. Maybe I'm just reading too deeply into Hoobastank's repertoire.
There are other epiphanies to come, trust me. I haven't discussed break yet, which was as disillusioning as seeing Ashley Simpson lip synching on SNL. Take care, I'll finish this later.
Much love,
Will
So, my junior year, I was really depressed from all the chaos that was my stupid love life with C_______. At some point, I ended up in front of the Safeway off of Shady Grove Road. I can still distinctly remember sitting on a bench out front as I waited for my mother to finish buying whatever the hell it was she needed at that point. Anyway, as I was waiting I heard this song that changed my young life in irreversible ways. It went a something like this:
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
Wow. Shitty Hoobastank song "The Reason" changed my life, and I felt connected to the song in a really metaphysical, far out kind of way. I remember pulling a pen out of my pocket and scribbling the words onto the back of my hand and relishing in the excitement of discovering a new musical mantra that served to both put the blame on the narrator--is that untalented dickhead really to be considered a narrator? Whatever he's the 1st person of the song--and apologize for being imperfect. Dumb, right?
The story continues:
I went back to said Safeway with said mother the other day during Spring Break. So, this is 2 years later. And as I walked out of that Godforsaken Safeway, you could bet your fine-looking tush that "The Reason" was blasting. And, believe it or not, "The Reason", stripped of all meaning and metaphorical implications, is just a downright shitty song by a band whose name reminds me that I need to tend to my diarrhetics.
Returning to the point, I found that the song not only held no meaning for me, but that perhaps these epiphanies we find really should be contextualized. That, no, it was not fate to hear "The Reason" at Shady Grove Plaza. It was just a shitty, soft rock song that helps to lull shopping parents into a haze of purchasing mania. If I had been sitting in Safeway that day Junior Year and had heard some Tahiti 80 bullshit that they play at Abercrombie, I would have ended it all right there--balls to the wall killed myself. Maybe. Probably not.
But then I think, maybe epiphanies travel in pairs, like Hydrogen molecules (Mogo tells me they're diatomic). Maybe I needed to hear that song during Junior Year, and I needed to return my Freshman Year to hear how ridiculous it had been. To not make the same mistakes with similar girls who don't give a shit about me. To not get intimidated while alone with a girl only to freak out and run away. Maybe I'm just reading too deeply into Hoobastank's repertoire.
There are other epiphanies to come, trust me. I haven't discussed break yet, which was as disillusioning as seeing Ashley Simpson lip synching on SNL. Take care, I'll finish this later.
Much love,
Will
1 Comments:
hey will, i havn't seen you much since the st.andrew's days, but i saw the link to your page on your profile so i thought i'd check it out. i just wanted to tell you that i think your an AMAZING writer, like even just random blogs you type are so well written. haha i really love it, i hope your taking writing classes in college. see you around!
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